God.... i feel so hopeless. because of one fight another scar.... why do i keep doing this to myself. it only makes everything worse. god why am i so dumb

Confusion

so..... i haven't heard from or seen my friend in the last few days. i finally find out today that Oh! She's been pulled out of school permanently (SORRY BAD SPELLING) and i can't get ahold of her at all. Her parents won't tell me where the hell she is and i have no clue if she's safe or not or if she actually went through with killing herself.... so i am so full of confusion and worry. what am i supposed to do. i've been praying for her since the beginning of this year when i found out that she cuts herself. PLEASE GOD! LET HER BE SAFE!!!!!!!! that is all i can say at the moment because i'm not in contact with her at all. all her parents say is, "we'll have her call you when she's back" BUT WHEN IS SHE GOING TO BE BACK????? THAT IS MY QUESTION... ALONG WITH.... WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?????


A Prayer for My Friend

Abba, please let my friend safe. she is so important to so many people and she doesn't even realize it. whatever she is going through, please Lord, let her find a sanctuary... somewhere where she will find to be safe and private. she really needs that, but Lord please, somehow, let me and all her other friends and all the ones whom love her KNOW that she is safe. That is what I ask of you Abba, please. I don't think I could live with the thought of her in another situation of her wanting to take her life. Let her know that she is loved and she is needed and that she is worried about and cared for. Please Lord. This is my continuous prayer. Amen.

People are way to quick to judge... especially if they only know one small portion of your past. They don't know me now. They've never met me. How can they judge me when all they know that i've hurt in the past? How is it my fault that my friend hurts herself? I'm one of the ones who has always been there for her... I've been trying to HELP her... not hurt her. So why do her parents blame me? If you have any idea please tell me the answer!!!

you know... there are some creepy people out there. preditors, pedifiles, rapists. it's dangerous, but you just need to know how to avoid them. and I DO AVOID THEM! i am smart enough and old enough to make my own choices, to be able to talk to who ever i want. i've been talking to this youth pastor i met on facebook for a few months now... I KNOW THAT HE IS NOT A PREDATOR!!!! seems like my whole family dont trust my judgement. but i've talked to him for months now, i know him. and he's helped me out so much through my depression. if my family had a chance to talk to him just once... they would see that he is trustwrothy. i met him on a christian radiostation fan page, he is a good guy. why can't anyone just trust my judgement i make of people and leave it alone? it's not like i give out my number to anybody. and i dont give my real name :/ this is part of the reason why i hate my life... and want to start hurting myself again. because no one listens to me or trusts me. can people just leave me alone and let me live my life?

Why?

Why?
Why are you jealous?
Why become angry when he rejected you so long ago and talks about another girl?
Why fill with rage when he compliments you still? Is it not something to be happy about when someone thinks you're hot though you do not agree? So... Why be angry?
Do you still have feelings for him, though he had hurt you so?
Why do you keep doing this to yourself, wanting to be with him?
Why can't you be content with just being friends?
Why are you so weak, wanting to cry evertime you see his face, longing to be his?

You tried taking interest in other guys, though it is impossible.
He is the only one you want to be with.
He seems to have always cared for you, someone you can talk to.
He wants you to trust him, but how can you? He seems to abuse that trust.
But... How can you not trust him? He seems to always listen.